I asked another question on here a few weeks ago about my step children getting sick/being sick/pretending to be sick every time they come here. Well, they are five and seven and are with us every other week. For a month straight they would get diarrhea/or puke at night time at least one day they were with us. Well 2 weeks ago when they were with us, they did not get sick at all. I showed them extra attention the last time they were here and love bc I thought maybe they were gettin stressed out that a new baby is on the way, being shuffled between two houses, or something is bothering them at school. They wont talk about their feelings even though my husband I have tried. I have kept this extra attention up again this week that they have been here too. I know that some people may take offensive to this but I think that they have psychological problems or emotional problems.
Well, last night my stepdaughter told me she felt sick, but I suspected that it was cuz she didnt want to eat the supper that my husband cooked. She said she had a headache so we gave her tylenol and said to lay down. She came back out a half hour later and we offered her something else to eat and of course she did eat it bc I knew that she was hungry and I didnt think she was really sick at all. Thats just what I think though.
Well, this morning my step son said he had a headache and didnt want to sing at the Easter sunday service, but he did want to do the easter egg hunt so I said if your well enough to do that your well enough to sing. I would do the same thing if he was my natural child too.
Well, also both of the kids always have issues with food it seems like. They took like two bites of their food at easter church breakfast and I didnt force them to eat any more cuz I’m afraid they will puke on purpose or something. I think they use this to their advantage (sure some of you will be offensive about that, but i think its true).
Well after my step son got his candy he appeared to be "well" again. Well at supper time he did eat most of his food but afterwards he whined that he had a headache like his sister did the day before. So we gave him tylenol sent him to bed with a trash can by his bed cuz last time he only said he had a headache and puked in the middle of the night too. I said that he needed to try to make it to the toilet but the trash can is there in case he cant.
I just am really puzzled and upset about the behavior because I think that they are emotionally disturbed and need counseling which my husband and I are working on getting taken care of soon. Although, my husband just thinks kids are kids, but I think this is a more serious issue and that the kids dont like being shuffled back and forth all the time or something else is bothering them but I cant imagine what.
Also, these kids have been to the doctor by me because neither one of their parents would take them bc they refuse to believe there is a problem and that kids just get sick. The doctor says nothing is wrong with them physically but she thinks that they have psychological issues and need to be seen by a counselor. I have begged my husband to agree, which he has, but I know that he is reluctant. Can any one give me any pointers on how to deal with these kids since I am the one that is around them a lot bc hubby works way more than I do? Please dont be rude. I am tryin to get them the help that they need. I also have a one year old son with my husband and it is very hard juggling my time, but I try my best. I want to have the best environment possible and stop these kids from their most likely manipulative behaviors/ pyschological illnesses that could be passed on to my natural son.
Also, I have cleaned and sanitized my house inside and out, so I know that the kids are not getting sick from a dirty household or enviroment. We live in a safe clean environment with large thanks due to me. My husband isnt the one that cleans up any of their diahrrea or puke. He makes me do that all the time…is that really fair or what? Who knows.
I have been married to their dad for almost 2 years. They have been in and out of our house many times. I do not know what they could be allergic to considering i havent changed cleaning products and vacuum and dust regulary. Doctor does not think household cleaners are an issue although they could possibly have other allergies I’m sure, but to who knows what. It’s not like they have been exposed to ne thing different. Their mother is a heavy smoker and drinker at her house…so maybe that could be some of the problem…who knows?!
i have had to force my husband to give them extra time and attention bc it seems sleep, tv, and computer are more important when he is home from work. it is not my fault that he doesnt give them the attention they need, i hope that a counselor can stress to him that he does need to give them more attention, but also not give them everything they want either. i think they just n
need a balance of attention from both their mom and dad, and maybe that would happen if their dad didnt put so much responsibility on me…who knows…………..
Also, their parents were never married just so ya know. The kids had no problem adjusting to my husband and my first child together…they were included and loved in the pregnancy, birth, and afterwards and still are……we are doing the same this time…so why do u think its a problem now? I just want the problems and issues fixed. Please help and thanks
.
whatever jello….im sure you are in the same situation too….RIGHT
4 Responses
Loveofhislife
December 5th, 2009 at 8:53 am
1I understand because when my step kids come over every other weekend they usually get "sick" too. The oldest is 8, middle is 4 and every time they come over the 4 yr old tries to get out of eating because "his throat hurts" or "his tummy hurts" and the oldest always lays down for bed and about 20 to 30 minutes after my husband and I go to our bedroom she comes in without knocking and claims her head hurts so bad she is nauseous and her stomach hurts and sometimes she even cries. So my husband and I go to her and take her to the kitchen and give her some pepto bismol or some children’s motrin and then she will pitch a fit that she doesn’t like taking medicine. We just tell her that hey if you are in that much pain you need medicine end of discussion. Then we make her lay back down for bed. My husband has talked to the oldest and she says stuff like she hates her mommy that mommy is mean and all that but then she will go home to mommy and claim that my husband and I are mean to her and crazy things like that. You just need to get with your husband and sit down and talk to them. Tell them that you have noticed that every time they come over they are getting sick and you think it is a game and they need to tell you two right then if they are honestly getting sick or are they playing to get attention. I know it is really tough on kids to go back and forth between homes and I really dont think that it is your son. If that doesnt work then i think that you are just going to have to deal with it until they grow out of it. Sorry
Scott L
December 5th, 2009 at 8:53 am
2I don’t think there is a problem that you aren’t dealing with. It is too bad the dad won’t step up and accept his responsibilities and makes you do it all. At least you are caring and trying. I know it sucks, but keep up the good work. You are building a relationship with the children that will last a lifetime. Conversely, dad is setting his precedence as well. I do hope he pulls his head out soon and gets them some sort of help. I don’t know if there is a mental issue or not, but I lean towards the not side more. Just hang in there. Seems to me you are doing it right and fighting the good fight.
jello
December 5th, 2009 at 8:53 am
3man oh man.. if i came to visit i would puke too. maybe they feel queasy at the idea of coming to visit cuz its obvious you resent being a step mom. it is very noticeable. poor kids
awommack
December 5th, 2009 at 8:53 am
4talk to somebody
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