I asked another question on here a few weeks ago about my step children getting sick/being sick/pretending to be sick every time they come here. Well, they are five and seven and are with us every other week. For a month straight they would get diarrhea/or puke at night time at least one day they were with us. Well 2 weeks ago when they were with us, they did not get sick at all. I showed them extra attention the last time they were here and love bc I thought maybe they were gettin stressed out that a new baby is on the way, being shuffled between two houses, or something is bothering them at school. They wont talk about their feelings even though my husband I have tried. I have kept this extra attention up again this week that they have been here too. I know that some people may take offensive to this but I think that they have psychological problems or emotional problems.
Well, last night my stepdaughter told me she felt sick, but I suspected that it was cuz she didnt want to eat the supper that my husband cooked. She said she had a headache so we gave her tylenol and said to lay down. She came back out a half hour later and we offered her something else to eat and of course she did eat it bc I knew that she was hungry and I didnt think she was really sick at all. Thats just what I think though.
Well, this morning my step son said he had a headache and didnt want to sing at the Easter sunday service, but he did want to do the easter egg hunt so I said if your well enough to do that your well enough to sing. I would do the same thing if he was my natural child too.
Well, also both of the kids always have issues with food it seems like. They took like two bites of their food at easter church breakfast and I didnt force them to eat any more cuz I’m afraid they will puke on purpose or something. I think they use this to their advantage (sure some of you will be offensive about that, but i think its true).
Well after my step son got his candy he appeared to be "well" again. Well at supper time he did eat most of his food but afterwards he whined that he had a headache like his sister did the day before. So we gave him tylenol sent him to bed with a trash can by his bed cuz last time he only said he had a headache and puked in the middle of the night too. I said that he needed to try to make it to the toilet but the trash can is there in case he cant.
I just am really puzzled and upset about the behavior because I think that they are emotionally disturbed and need counseling which my husband and I are working on getting taken care of soon. Although, my husband just thinks kids are kids, but I think this is a more serious issue and that the kids dont like being shuffled back and forth all the time or something else is bothering them but I cant imagine what.
Also, these kids have been to the doctor by me because neither one of their parents would take them bc they refuse to believe there is a problem and that kids just get sick. The doctor says nothing is wrong with them physically but she thinks that they have psychological issues and need to be seen by a counselor. I have begged my husband to agree, which he has, but I know that he is reluctant. Can any one give me any pointers on how to deal with these kids since I am the one that is around them a lot bc hubby works way more than I do? Please dont be rude. I am tryin to get them the help that they need. I also have a one year old son with my husband and it is very hard juggling my time, but I try my best. I want to have the best environment possible and stop these kids from their most likely manipulative behaviors/ pyschological illnesses that could be passed on to my natural son.
Also, I have cleaned and sanitized my house inside and out, so I know that the kids are not getting sick from a dirty household or enviroment. We live in a safe clean environment with large thanks due to me. My husband isnt the one that cleans up any of their diahrrea or puke. He makes me do that all the time…is that really fair or what? Who knows.
I have been married to their dad for almost 2 years. They have been in and out of our house many times. I do not know what they could be allergic to considering i havent changed cleaning products and vacuum and dust regulary. Doctor does not think household cleaners are an issue although they could possibly have other allergies I’m sure, but to who knows what. It’s not like they have been exposed to ne thing different. Their mother is a heavy smoker and drinker at her house…so maybe that could be some of the problem…who knows?!
i have had to force my husband to give them extra time and attention bc it seems sleep, tv, and computer are more important when he is home from work. it is not my fault that he doesnt give them the attention they need, i hope that a counselor can stress to him that he does need to give them more attention, but also not give them everything they want either. i think they just n
need a balance of attention from both their mom and dad, and maybe that would happen if their dad didnt put so much responsibility on me…who knows…………..
Also, their parents were never married just so ya know. The kids had no problem adjusting to my husband and my first child together…they were included and loved in the pregnancy, birth, and afterwards and still are……we are doing the same this time…so why do u think its a problem now? I just want the problems and issues fixed. Please help and thanks
.
even though some of you say they are not mine, which is technically right…what am i supposed to do when my husbadn doesnt step up to the plate…i have no choice but to take care of them…to not do so would be cruel and not right…so in a sense i am their mother when they are here..
6 Responses
Cuteminimwha
November 29th, 2009 at 8:24 am
1First off,
You dont have the write
To talk about somone elses kids on here
There not urs?
Nor do you really have any say in the matter,
Look,
I dont think his kid’s have mental problems
And it rude to say it
I think there confussed,Wouldn’t you be
Your mum and dad split,
You marrie there father
Have kids with him
The get guggled around constanlly?
It’s not that there mental,its because there conffused?
I seriouslly belive there sick,
Unless they put there hand down there trout im guessing there really ill,Maybie the food there father cooks?
Im not saying his doing it on puporse?
But maybie they dont ussally like that type of food,
And the reason they dont get sick at there mums is because she dosn’t feed them that particulary food item
I dunno somthing to look into,
Or maybie,there mothers smoking is the cause,
I dont know,
But about you saying you think they have a mental problem
You dont know
Your not an docter?
So i think the BEST thing to do,
Is get them to see a conseler about there feelings,
Make it a fun thing
Reward them after
Get there real mother to encourage aswell,So they think there doing the right thing,
About there illness,I think there not faking it..How could they?
And i doubt there bevaiour will encourage a new born maybie to act like them
Its nobodys fault just talk with your husband and the kids!
And btw,There his kids,You dont deserve to be doing all the WORK!
Goodluck
Im sorry i i sounded harse,My parents are divorced aswell,
So i know the feeling!
Kathryn L
November 29th, 2009 at 8:24 am
2sounds like nerves. please take them to see a counselor on a regular basis as it seems they are not adjusting well to these changes
The Bride
November 29th, 2009 at 8:24 am
3It sounds like a mental issue and they really need to be in counseling.
FoxForceFiveVega
November 29th, 2009 at 8:24 am
4Hmm…definitely doesn’t sound like Allergies. Allergies don’t make you puke and have the runs. My son has severe allergies and is on a weekly shot…this has never happened to him. Sounds like maybe it’s something mental, like nervous, or emotional. These children should DEFINITELY be evaluated by a professional. There is something going on. This is most definitely not normal behavior. Some of it is, but when you add it all together, no way is this normal. Not wanting to sing at church, but wanting to hunt eggs…that’s just being a kid. Not wanting to eat what was served may just be "being a kid" too. The puking and runs all the time sounds like a nervous thing to me, but why would they be? Or a stress thing. If their mom does drink and smoke around them, they shouldn’t be there. Plain and simple. If she nor your husband care enough to spend time with them or take them to the doctor, these kids have no hope except for YOU. You are definitely in the right for being concerned and caring for these kids. Even if they aren’t yours. You sound like a wonderful mother and should be commended for trying to do your best for these kids. You must talk with your husband and stress how serious this is. These kids need to be evaluated. Who’s gonna look out for them if their own parents won’t? Stress that to your husband. He has got to wake up here and show a little concern for his children. I wish you luck. Just try and be loving and understanding with these kids and show them extra attention when they are around. If no one will step up and take this matter seriously, you take them to the doctor. Persuade their mom to let you do it somehow. You seem like their only advocate.
Cutemini: You are obviously young and don’t have children. You don’t know what you are talking about. She does have a right to seek advice for these kids! You need to go back to school and learn how to spell first of all and then get some life experience. You do sound harsh and very young and undereducated.
caraohara
November 29th, 2009 at 8:24 am
5You are right in having these children seen to…it appears there is some sort of emotional problem or else they have learnt to get attention they have to be sick… Their father needs to play a much bigger role in their young lives, in fact this could be the key to this whole issue , also what is going on in the mothers home , that might also be a contributing factor to their behaviour. You’re a good step mother to be so concerned about your step children.
ILoveRent
November 29th, 2009 at 8:24 am
6It’s probably anxiety…perhaps they have anxiety disorders. I have been struggling with anxiety for the past year or so and I found doing a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy group with other kids that have anxiety issues helped drastically. The symptoms sound about right. In 2007 I literally missed ALL of December at school because of anxiety-inflicted illness (well, 2 weeks of it were the stomach flu, like with a fever and all, but the anxiety of going back to school kept me sick until winter break, then I was much better, but near the end I started to be sick again) Get them checked out by an anxiety specialist.
Hope everything is sorted out and have a great day!
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